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Picture of Doodle - a 
black cat

Welcome to Doodlecat, where we enjoy the pleasures of life (with a slight bias towards the outdoors). This page is regularly updated with news and views plus information about any additions or changes to the various parts of the site. It acts as Doodlecat’s Blog too, so the odd rant considered opinion may pop up from time to time.

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Thursday, May 4, 2017

Another Challenge Song

Those who have participated in the TGO Challenge for a number of years may have noticed some new, keen enthusiasts breathing new life into the event. Andy Howell's "The Challenge Song" is excellent, jolly stuff, but I feel that this new wave of Challengers deserves a special anthem of their very own ...

... and so ....

....to the tune of Modern Major General by Gilbert and Sullivan ...

.... I give you ....

The Modern Lightweight Challenger


    I am the very model of a modern lightweight Challenger
    I've information all set out on spreadsheet and on calendar,
    I know the weights of fabrics, and I quote the facts historical
    From silnylon to Cuben sheet, in order categorical;
    I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
    I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
    About magnetic deviation I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
    Using sine and cosine and the square of the hypotenuse.

    I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
    I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
    In short, I’m at the cutting edge, and you sir are a passenger
    I am the very model of a modern Lightweight Challenger.

    I know our Gaelic history, and the Bruce’s and the Stewart plots;
    I fill in complex route sheets (I've a pretty taste for paradox)
    I quote in bold italics all the crimes of the traditionalists,
    In conics I can calculate hyperbolae of half dome tents.
    I can tell a Vettriano from Landseer,  Mc Coll and Maitheson,
    I know all the Braveheart script - as spoken by Australians,
    Then I can hum a piper’s tune, louder than a sonic boom,
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Brigadoon.

    Then I can write equipment lists in Excel and in Apple forms,
    And tell you every detail of Arc’teryx’s  styling norms,
    In short, I’m at the cutting edge, and you sir are a passenger
    I am the very model of a modern Lightweight Challenger.

    In fact, when I know what is meant by "Naismith’s Rule " and "contouring",
    When I can tell at sight a Pacer Pole from Javelin,
    When such affairs as scrambles and glissading I'm more wary at,
    And when I know to leave the bar when a ned says “Whit yer starin’at?”

    When I have traversed grouse moors, dodging Purdeys’ gunnery,
    When I know more of walking than a novice in a nunnery –
    In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
    You'll say a better Challenger has never walked from sea to sea.

    For all my outdoor knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
    Owes nothing to experience - I was barely born this century;
    But still, I’m at the cutting edge, and you sir are a passenger
    I am the very model of a modern Lightweight Challenger.

P.S. if you don't know the tune, listen to it HERE 

Just a bit of pre-chally fun ;-)

4 Comments:

Blogger John J said...

Tremendous.... although I can't imagine who you might be referring to!

BTW did I tell you about my new ultra-light quilt?

;-)

May 4, 2017 at 8:15 PM  
Blogger Alan Sloman said...

That should sing well in the Bree Louise, Sir.
You should recite it atop a table with a pint balanced on your head, hoisting an unfortunate's cuben pack into the air and out, into the street.
No?

May 4, 2017 at 10:02 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

JJ, as you have guessed, I just LOVE being told about ultra-lightweight kit ;-)

May 5, 2017 at 8:44 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Al, I guess we could each take a verse at Stan & Bill's ?

May 5, 2017 at 8:45 PM  

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